Relationships are based on chemistry, so we have heard. So, when we say chemistry – do we understand the basic knowledge or do we just take it on its face value and embrace the myths surrounding it?
Chemistry is based on formulas – right formula when applied works, and wrong formula when applied can fail. I wish, that we all could buy the ‘relationship formula’ which works, and I guess we can be exultant about it, eh? It is not possible. This formula can’t be bought, sold or be produced. It is just natural.
Intelligence, personality, beauty, warmth, perception etc. are some of the key components, which make the attraction trait possible. The attraction is intensified by the release of a chemical called phenyl-ethylamine, for e.g. have you encountered the feeling of “dizziness and giddiness” after having met someone whom you really like? Phenyl-ethylamine is the reason.
Sometimes, there is a desire to be physically close and connected with someone; this is due to PEA releases another substance called dopamine. The higher the level of dophine, the higher will be intensity. The brain captures the intensity; sends signals to various organs in the body. Sometimes, you get attracted to the right person, and sometimes you are attracted to the wrong person – this happens because you “listen” to your heart and not your brain! The physical urge overrules the ability to think in a sensible way!
So, what is missing?
“Spiritual affinity”
It is wrong to think that Love comes from long companionship or persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of a spiritual affinity, and unless that affinity is created IN A MOMENT, it will not be created in years or even generations.” - Kahlil Gibran, from “The Broken Wings”
“Spiritual affinity” develops over time and repeated contact. When these feelings begin to emerge, the brain produces endorphins. These are more like morphine and result in an increased sense of calm that reduces anxiety and helps to build attachment. As relationships move into this phase they are characterized by more comfort, commitment and friendship -Toni Coleman (Relationship Coach)
What you do or whomever you choose is your choice. Choose wisely.
4 Comments
October 7, 2007 at 4:37 am
A Chinese proverb suggests that choose a companion with whom you are happy to talk for long durations. It helps in communication, wavelength (sorry this is physics, not chemistry) and above all it helps in old age when you need companionship the most.
Whom should you avoid. Again a Chinese proverb suggests to avoid people whose stomach does not move when they laugh.
July 23, 2008 at 12:34 am
Life is funny, when your’e married you want to be single, and when your single you want to be married.So the point is no situation is easy just be happy in your position whaterver that may be.
July 23, 2008 at 12:40 am
This cocktail is lethal procede with caution think before you go there, after going through this I don’t think its love its just an emotion and our emotion are not alway right.
July 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Well, for me it has been different. I recently got married and it has been most beautiful thing ever happened to me. She is something. I do wish sometimes that I had met her earlier in my life.